I could have been so much further along in my career if it weren’t for my fears. Or so I keep telling myself. So why do I let them get in my way? The key is to first understand them. Them you can defeat them.
That Inner Voice
I was listening to T. Harv Eker’s Tough Love call. It’s a part of his Life Makeover Coaching program. Someone talked about working at a call center for $16/hour for ten years and how she was afraid to make the leap. She had that inside voice telling her that she didn’t know enough to own her own business.
Harv brought up that if anyone talked like that to her in real life, she’d laugh. Or walk away. Or thank them for their opinion and then blow it off. So why do we let fear talk to us that way?
It wants to keep us safe, believe it or not. There’s a part of the mind that wants us to stay exactly where we are because it thinks we’re safer. It’s known.
I remember that fear.
Fear of Making the Wrong Choice
I wanted to be a work from home mom after I gave birth. As I mentioned, I never wanted to go back to a corporate office ever again. I wanted to always be there for my daughter.
So I paid for a correspondence course on being a court reporter transcriber. I loved how it was like solving a puzzle reading the stenography. And as I worked through the course, I researched and discovered the computer aided programs that helped the transcribers. That’s when I felt I’d made a wrong choice. I missed the technology.
So I went back to the high tech world and started programming again. I set up web pages. I developed databases. And I programmed in PHP and perl. I was happy. And then I made the wrong choice.
I thought I needed to be a real programmer. I took the wrong job that would allow me to program in Java rather than a great contract that would have me program in PHP. It all blew up into a horrendous mess. So I spent money getting an online masters degree. And that didn’t magically make me feel like a programmer. And I had debt.
I never realized that I needed to treat it like a business. Well, I knew but I was afraid. I was afraid to learn because it meant it was something I didn’t know. And that held me back. And I lost the business and had to go back to onsite corporate work for three years.
Fear of Looking Stupid
I read books on how to treat your business like a business instead of a job.
I kept spending money on courses on how to set up businesses. Blueprints. Proven methods. I tried copywriting. Contracts through online job shops like elance.
I got into affiliate marketing. I learned local marketing. Social media. It sounded so simple. Just go to stores and talk to the owners and they’ll give you money.
I tried. But every time I tried something, it didn’t come across as authentic and I could see the person shut down. Or they’d heard the pitch before. I don’t know.
Fear of Trusting the Process
I should have either partnered with someone who was good at the sales talk or I should have found a way to practice more and refine my technique. Either way, I tried to go it alone. And that’s a big mistake.
Remember that voice in your head? Yeah. You need other people to help you get that voice out and kill it dead. You need people who will help you develop the self-discipline to achieve your goals.
I also had problems trusting the blueprints. I’d go “ok, I’ll try this but I won’t try that.” You can’t negotiate with it. You need to try it first and understand how and why it works. Then you can make adjustments to personalize it.
I had a friend who told me to put together fax backs. Just print out a bunch of flyers with information asking the pain question and tell the owner to email you or fax back the information. Then you have a warm lead to nurture. I couldn’t even do that. I guess I just needed to fail completely multiple times.
I don’t have my act fully together. At least I realize it and am working on my business every day. I’m building up systems to ensure quality. And some day, I’ll be able to outsource some tasks.
What’s holding you back?