Adjusting Your Mindset to Stay Motivated

Sometimes, you can do everything right and things still don’t work out the way you’d hope. You need to adjust your mindset to stay motivated even through the rough times.

I just released an information product and followed all the checklists and blueprints to the letter. It was a flop. The product is great (I had it reviewed by a lot of people due to my neurotic need to only put out good stuff).

I had multiple people review the sales page. It was awesome.

But few people bought.

Strategies for Failures

I’m about to tell you that just because these things happen does not make you a failure. Whatever mistakes were made doesn’t make you a mistake. You have fingernails but that doesn’t make you a fingernail.

But let’s be honest. It sucks when things aren’t going well, right?

Achievement is not a straight line. There is no overnight sensation.

So that’s why I say your mindset is vital to staying motivated.

Step One – It’s OK to Feel Badly

Sometimes we have to collapse completely to push ourselves back up again. Resilience is a fantastic skill to build up if you’re going to be a successful online businesswoman.

And let’s face it. We’re going to feel badly and guilty anyway.  So set a timer for fifteen minutes and beat yourself up.

Then you have to let it go. Don’t spend another second feeling badly. You already did so you can silence that voice in your head.

Now, we go on to problem-solving.

Step Two – Postmortem Time

Maybe it was the right message to the right people but at the wrong time. Sometimes you will never know what it is.

However, it’s a good idea to sit down and come up with some ideas as to what could be done better. And then work on your plan for what to do.

Try to think of a few things that went well that you should be proud of.

I’d also step back and ask yourself if you truly believed in your goal. Was it your goal or was it what you thought you should do? Were you completely committed to achieving it?

If you are, there should still be a fire in your belly, and that’s excellent.

If there’s not, try to figure out if it was ever there. If it was, maybe you’re still feeling off because of what happened. In which case, you need to find ways to help yourself let go of the negative feelings.

Go exercise or get a pedicure. Get a relaxing massage. Go to a super fancy restaurant and have an appetizer.

Then come back and try to figure out if you still feel passionate about what you were trying to do.

What If I Never Do?

Then let it go. Drop it and move on to something else. Don’t live someone else’s dreams.

Often times, we will want to continue something because we invested a lot of time and money into it. But that’s silly if you think about it. If it’s never going to work, why would you continue doing it?

I’ve burnt rice on the stove. I didn’t try to keep cooking the rice or trying to serve it and pretend it was ok. I composted it and found some rolls that I served instead.

You can still achieve your dream of being an online business owner. You just may need a path that you’re more passionate about.

Do you want to know how many courses I bought on Local Marketing because people told me it would be a lucrative market? I couldn’t sell to a single client. I wish I had listened to my heart and not bought any of it and stuck with what I knew I liked.

But If It’s Fear….

All bets are off if it’s just because you’re afraid. Sorry.

If you’re afraid, then it means you’re growing and that’s good. It’s time to dig deep and push through. That’s part of the goal setting that you’ve done.

You need to connect to your great big WHY and just take one tiny little step forward.

Find an accountability buddy who will help you take that tiny step every day. Eventually, you will be impressed with how far you’ve moved towards your big goal.

The Big Secret of Your Mindset

You have to be able to visualize yourself achieving your goal, and then you need to connect it with passion to your big reason why you want to achieve it.

We often get hung up on the “how’s.” And that’s something that you need to learn to let go.

Let’s say you want to become an expert in Mediterranean cooking. So your next step would be to find a domain and then set up a blog. You don’t need to become an expert in Mediterranean cooking.

You just need to blog regularly about your journey, recipes you’ve tried, and tips you’ve run across.

Then you create a schedule for how often you post.  And you tell yourself you’re so excited!

Eventually, you will see more opportunities such as recommending Craftsy courses as an affiliate. Maybe you’ll even publish a cookbook.

You don’t know just how far you’ll go. So don’t set limits.

Just focus on your goal and work slowly towards it every day with passion.

Review of Mastermind 1on1

My friend Richard Butler just released his new program Mastermind 1 on 1.

I met Richard through Partnership to Success. He gave me early access to the product for this review. I was so impressed and learned a ton. Usually I’m telling you that we already know stuff….we just need to be reminded of it. In this case, I learned a lot of new ways of thinking.

Richard interviews the experts and you get 9 hours of video success talks with some of the leading experts in the Internet marketing industry

Who Are the Experts

Here’s a rundown on the panel of experts:

    • Alex Jeffreys – from dead broke 10 years ago to owning one of the fastest growing companies in North America
    • Erik Stafford – the man who walked away from 3 successful businesses he built – he deleted customers, lists, products – why he did it and how it helped him
    • Reed Floren – never had a job in his life, but continues to earn day in day out from the internet. Find out his secrets
    • Felicia Slattery – from college professor to one of the sought after speakers and trainers in the business – find out why you have to know how to communicate even if you will never be on stage
    • Stuart Tan – one of Asia’s leading professional trainers, to date he has trained over 500,000 people. He talks about NLP and how to program yourself for success
    • Mark Lyford – from living it up in the Bahamas to spending a couple of years in jail, his story is of a survivor and go getter. Learn from him on what it takes to keep on going.

There are more experts as well. It’s time to grab this while it’s discounted, use code launchspecial to get an instant 25% off.

Why Is It So Great

It’s better to learn from other people’s mistakes. Ultimately you’re going to make your own mistakes. But wouldn’t it be better to avoid the basic ones because you learned from people who already made them?

Then you can become an expert when you make your own mistakes and get interviewed or publish a book.
Richard has a great style for interviewing them. He knows when to let them talk and when to bring them back around. Not once did I feel bored. In fact, I got so caught up in watching them that I forgot to do some of my actual work. So make sure you pace yourself.

There’s a full 30 day money back guarantee so it’s risk free. Just make sure you start watching a video after you buy it.

I’m guilty of buying and not using the product myself. Don’t do that. Normally I’m the one telling you to buy the just in time products and not the just in case products.

This is a just in time.  We’re in the third month of the year. If you’ve been working steadily and not seeing any results, you may be getting disappointed. That’s when it’s essential to fill your mind with positive thoughts and increase your belief that you will achieve it.

These experts have all been where you are. The difference is they persisted despite mistakes and setbacks. So go buy it and give yourself the support you need to succeed. And don’t forget to use the code launchspecial to get an instant 25% off.

Set Intentions Instead of Resolutions for Faster Success

Every year, people make New Year’s Resolutions. Or maybe they set the same ones year after year. Lost that weight. Make more money. Pay off our debt which keeps getting larger.

We resolve to do more of the right things and less of the wrong things. It’s a trap to apply this to our business. We resolve to go to more meetings where we can meet people. Get more clients. Finish writing more articles. Create that million dollar product.

But it’s not going to work just like it doesn’t work with us.  After a few days, something distracts us. Or it feels like work.

Yup. The time when we have to dig in and actually make an effort is exactly when we give up. Then we’ve broken our resolutions and feel like we’re failures.

There is a better way.

Instead, Set Intentions For the Year

The problem when we set the resolutions is that we’re not really looking at the whole picture.

Take a moment to really look at your goals. Are they achievable in one year? And it’s ok if it’s a stretch. But if you’re only earning $500/month right now, you’re probably not going to get to $50,000/month by July.  (Well, hey, maybe you could. If so, tell me how you did it. I’m always open to learning and encouraging).

Brian Tracy teaches that we would set ourselves up for failure if our goals were too big. Our brains don’t really believe we could achieve it so it finds way to sabotage our success.

So what I do is I break it down into smaller goals. My intention may be to earn $50,000. But I’m going to focus on the goal of doubling my current monthly income. Next you work backward to identify tasks that will take you down that path to achievement.

From there, you have learned how to double your income and you can do it again.

Bob Proctor talks about converting a monthly income to a weekly income. And then a daily income.  It’s good to have solid intentions and then be inspired to work the tasks to get there. It feels more manageable rather than “How am I going to get from here to there?”

Break It Into Achievable Chunks

T. Harv Eker recommends having tasks take no more than 30 minutes of your time. And don’t set more than three at a time to achieve.

Now, obviously this can’t be for every task, can it?  Actually, it can!  I’ll set a task to spend 30 minutes working on Chapter 4 of my latest ebook. That allows me to feel comfortable that I’m not going to have to work on the whole ebook. I just have one small chapter or section.

Chances are good that once I’m in there, I get into the flow and end up spending a lot more than 30 minutes writing. But I’ve tricked myself to get out of my own fear.

Success Builds Momentum

At the end of the day, make sure you write down your successes. When you see how far you’re moving towards your intended goal, you will get more enthusiastic and get more ideas.

Now is where you need to be careful. Always keep some kind of method to capture ideas. I use Evernote.

Often, you’ll be working hard and feeling great when an idea pops into your head. You need to capture that idea and promise your brain that you will get to it when you’re done with this task.  That is the only way to shut your brain up.

For a minute.  Sometimes, though, my brain takes that as an opportunity to give me a laundry list. I just thank the brain, write down all the thoughts, and then say “Back to work.”

Nothing feels better than success.  Even if it’s a smaller goal. But let’s be honest…would you rather achieve a smaller goal or never achieve a bigger goal?

Leave your thoughts in the comments. I am interested in what you think.

What If Up Thinking

Right now in the United States post-election, I’m still seeing a lot of anger and divisiveness. Maybe it’s because I’m older, I’m calmer. I have seen these cycles before.  I was born in the late 60’s and saw the strife in the 70’s.  Then again in the 90’s.  And here we are again.  I’ve also read history and know that we have been in worse places.  I hope we never need another Civil War to get us back to being civil to one another.

We need to learn to accept that other people have different opinions than we do. They’re different people.  It doesn’t make it wrong or them bad. We do need to find a path to getting back to business.

Resources for Positive Mindset

Bob Proctor in his Science of Getting Rich course mentions that we’ll have politicians as long as we humans need them.  We’re growing and evolving. Some day, we won’t need them anymore.  How much does the political spectrum really affect you? What I counsel is to get more involved locally. Do things to improve your neighborhood, town, county, whatever.

T. Harv Eker talks about how we need to have our own personal economy separate from the National and Global economies. So look at how you’re doing. Only compare yourself to yourself.  Some of the greatest fortunes were created during the worst of economic times.

And Dr. Joe Vitale was the first to teach me “What If Up” thinking.  It’s where you think what if the best possible scenario occurred rather then what if the world falls around me. When you’re thinking positive, you can identify more opportunities.

Why Be Negative?

And honestly, it takes just as much effort to visualize the positive as it does the negative.  So why not visualize the best possible outcome?

And while you’re at it, think back to when you had a success. Then feel those same feelings as you visualize your positive outcome. I promise you’ll be a lot happier and have better results.

You should be filling your mind with positive things. I subscribe to Audible and will get audiobooks by people like Bob Proctor, T. Harv Eker, Dr. Joe Vitale, etc.  (Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks)

I think I’ll do a post on everything I have.  Anyway, my current one is the update of Psycho-Cybernetics: Updated and Revised by Dr. Maxwell Maltz edited by Dan Kennedy.  There’s so many gems that I need to be reminded. Such as if you look for offense, you will find it.

So instead of looking for offense, spend today looking for the good.

A Look at Fears

Woman Hand Writing Face Your Fears With A Marker Over TransparenI could have been so much further along in my career if it weren’t for my fears. Or so I keep telling myself. So why do I let them get in my way?  The key is to first understand them. Them you can defeat them.

That Inner Voice

I was listening to T. Harv Eker’s Tough Love call. It’s a part of his Life Makeover Coaching program. Someone talked about working at a call center for $16/hour for ten years and how she was afraid to make the leap. She had that inside voice telling her that she didn’t know enough to own her own business.

Harv brought up that if anyone talked like that to her in real life, she’d laugh. Or walk away. Or thank them for their opinion and then blow it off.  So why do we let fear talk to us that way?

It wants to keep us safe, believe it or not. There’s a part of the mind that wants us to stay exactly where we are because it thinks we’re safer. It’s known.

I remember that fear.

Fear of Making the Wrong Choice

I wanted to be a work from home mom after I gave birth. As I mentioned, I never wanted to go back to a corporate office ever again. I wanted to always be there for my daughter.

So I paid for a correspondence course on being a court reporter transcriber. I loved how it was like solving a puzzle reading the stenography. And as I worked through the course, I researched and discovered the computer aided programs that helped the transcribers.  That’s when I felt I’d made a wrong choice. I missed the technology.

So I went back to the high tech world and started programming again. I set up web pages. I developed databases. And I programmed in PHP and perl. I was happy.  And then I made the wrong choice.

I thought I needed to be a real programmer. I took the wrong job that would allow me to program in Java rather than a great contract that would have me program in PHP. It all blew up into a horrendous mess. So I spent money getting an online masters degree.  And that didn’t magically make me feel like a programmer. And I had debt.

I never realized that I needed to treat it like a business.  Well, I knew but I was afraid. I was afraid to learn because it meant it was something I didn’t know. And that held me back. And I lost the business and had to go back to onsite corporate work for three years.

Fear of Looking Stupid

I read books on how to treat your business like a business instead of a job.


I kept spending money on courses on how to set up businesses.  Blueprints. Proven methods. I tried copywriting. Contracts through online job shops like elance.

I got into affiliate marketing. I learned local marketing. Social media. It sounded so simple. Just go to stores and talk to the owners and they’ll give you money.

I tried. But every time I tried something, it didn’t come across as authentic and I could see the person shut down. Or they’d heard the pitch before. I don’t know.

Fear of Trusting the Process

I should have either partnered with someone who was good at the sales talk or I should have found a way to practice more and refine my technique. Either way, I tried to go it alone. And that’s a big mistake.Face Your Fears - Hand Pressing A Button On Blurred Background C

Remember that voice in your head?  Yeah. You need other people to help you get that voice out and kill it dead. You need people who will help you develop the self-discipline to achieve your goals.

I also had problems trusting the blueprints. I’d go “ok, I’ll try this but I won’t try that.” You can’t negotiate with it.  You need to try it first and understand how and why it works. Then you can make adjustments to personalize it.

I had a friend who told me to put together fax backs.  Just print out a bunch of flyers with information asking the pain question and tell the owner to email you or fax back the information. Then you have a warm lead to nurture. I couldn’t even do that.  I guess I just needed to fail completely multiple times.

I don’t have my act fully together. At least I realize it and am working on my business every day. I’m building up systems to ensure quality. And some day, I’ll be able to outsource some tasks.

What’s holding you back?

Why Is Accountability Scary?

Over the years, I’ve participated in mastermind groups and signed up to be an accountability buddy. Over 90% of them have dissolved after a few weeks.  People get busy or they forget or they just stop participating. And don’t get me wrong. I was just as guilty for not following through.

facepalmWhy is it so difficult to be accountable?

If I haven’t done what I said I was going to do, I felt like telling my accountability partner would disappoint them. I also felt like I was going to the principal’s office.

I hate disappointing people.

Do you feel the same way? Do you feel like you disappointed yourself if you don’t achieve your goals?

I hated even worse being sent to the principal’s office.  Yes, I actually have been sent there in my lifetime.  For fighting.  It was 1st grade. And maybe 2nd.  But the past is the past.

Don’t Drive Using the Rear View Mirror

So you didn’t do as well as you wanted. That’s okay. We all have our off days.

But the truth is if you keep having off day after off day, there’s a problem. And that’s where the accountability buddy can help you out. Think of them as the pause button. If you keep bringing up the same excuse, take some time to brainstorm why you’re not moving forward.

Pushing Through Procrastinating

As I mentioned in a prior post, procrastinating is usually caused by not feeling strongly enough with the why you want it. To push through:

  1. Break down the task into a smaller next step
  2. Schedule 20 minutes
  3. Do that next step

That will unstick you quickly.  Once you get momentum, you’ll want to do more next actions because you’ll be more connected with your goal.

Then you’ll be more excited to meet wiht your accountability buddy.

What is Accountability

The problem, as I said, is that we think of accountability as being called to the principal’s office. And that’s not what it is at all. Accountability is an internal thing. It’s like you can’t hold someone else accountable or discipline someone else.  You must motivate yourself to be disciplined and accountable.

I’d highly recommend The 12 Week Year.

I use the audio version to get connected with the principles and then the Kindle version to review the important tasks.  They define accountability as grading yourself. Your accountability partner is only there to help you become the best person that you can be.

7K0A0184Change Your Mindset

So choose to use your accountability partner as a true partner. They are someone who wants to see you succeed. If you’re not moving forward, you need to meet with them even more and help brainstorm ideas to push forward.

Another thing I use is the T Harv Eker’s Life Makeover Coaching. I’ve used their group and individual coaching and it has helped me uncover a lot of blocks. At the end of the group coaching, they have you commit to being there the next week. There’s a lot of power in promising yourself that you’re going to do something.

And what I love the most is how many people have the same problems that I do.  It’s a warm feeling of being in this all together. The other members of my group are from all over the world. And the guy who runs it lives in Spain.

We’re all just trying to get somewhere better in our lives. Having a life coach allows us to get focused on nine main areas in our lives. I’m feeling so much more balanced and effective.  If you’re interested, click here to check out the Life Makeover Coaching program too.

Master Your Mind

Busy mother on the phone feeding baby a the same timeBefore starting your own business, you need to get your head right. I’m going to start a series on how to protect your mind from all the problems that come up when starting your own online business.

We’ll look at some high levels ideas in this blog and go into more depth in follow on.

So why is mindset so important? It’s actually two-fold. First, you need to know exactly where you’re going. Secondly, you need to be passionately connected with that image so that when things get tough, you have the courage to continue.

You can create your vision of an ideal life in a few different ways. First, you can just spend some time daydreaming. You can then write down how you want your ideal life to be in three years, one year, and six months. Another way is to think about all the items you want to have and experiences you want to do. Then spend some time researching how much it would cost. You may be surprised that you need less money than you think.

Being an entrepreneur can be a lonely occupation as well. You don’t interact with people like you do when you go into an office every day. This may be an adjustment. For me, it was a relief to get away from office politics and the long hours in high tech full of pointless meetings. I was so happy not to have to put on work clothes and makeup and drive an hour to go twelve miles.

Instead, I’d wear shorts and tank tops and my hair in a pony tail working while my baby slept. My social interactions came from getting to see my friends at lunch.  I also would chat with friends using instant messengers. It was a nice break to get adult conversation.

It’s important for you to know how you’re going to fill in your social gap. It will help ensure that you can stay focused when you start thinking that going back to work would be better because you’re lonely.

Also, you’ll need to build up your money management skills. Working for yourself can be feast or family sometimes. You’ll want to ensure that you’re saving money for the famine times. Also, you’ll want to save money for investing in yourself. You may want to go to conferences or purchase additional education.

Save up money for babysitters and regular date nights with your husband/partner. It’s important to maintain a strong connection. And believe me. This is one of the things that are easy to let go and it’s a mistake. My husband and I almost divorced in 2004. It took a year of therapy and a year of grinding the gears to get back to good and a few years after that to get to great. The year of therapy and other costs far exceeded what we would have spent had we just gone on regular dates to stay connected.

My last bit of advice in this overview is to ensure you’re breaking tasks down enough that you can achieve them. Don’t make big tasks like “Increase traffic” or “Write five blogs” or “Set up sales funnel.”  Instead, set smaller tasks like “Write one blog post on creating your business plan.” Try to keep them 30-45 minutes. You’ll be able to build up momentum by having small victories building on one another.